So it's another year. What's so special about January 1, just another day in an endless run? Nothing, really, except that like certain other days in the calendar, it brings back specific sets of memories. It's Appa's birthday, of course, and like Ananya said, any new year celebration at home was a double bill, including wishes for his birthday. And then twelve years ago Sita athai passed away, so the day carried bittersweet memories, of birth, death and everything in between.
The past year especially has seen a lot of losses, a sort of "passing of the old guard"--Appa, Ekanna, Nagaraja periappa, Periya manni, and finally Gurupa. But I suppose in a way when people leave it prompts us to think of them even more than when they are still around. They "settle" into a space in our minds to be recalled whenever we need to feel their presence.
And I'm sure Appa's having a great birthday, wherever he is, with all those who have passed into that other realm with him!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
As the year turns...
Amma, Appa, Amamma, Sudha Chitti, Achala and i have just finished watching "Mama Mia!" and wait impatiently for the clock to strike twelve so that we can all say, "Happy New Year" and hit the bed! There doesn't seem to be much enthusiasm in any of our actions, it's just like we're staying up because we have to!
Usually, on new year's eve we (Amma, Appa, Achala and I- and sometimes Amamma) used to stay up watching movies and Thatha would go to sleep. At 12 all of us would go down, wake him up and sing "Happy Birthday"! It was tons of fun! It was like there was something to look forward to... but now, there's NOTHING... But why the sudden change?
A year ago, exactly a year ago, no one would've expected the year 2009 to arrive without the shrieks of "Happy Birthday Thatha/Appa!" Now i sit here wondering how fast things happened. I mean one day i was sitting with Thatha discussing which IPL match we should attend and the next day i was watching the IPL without him.
2008 has really "zoomed" by, and i don't think many of us have had the chance to sit back and think about the things that have happened. I for one have been way too busy with school and cricket to really reflect on the events that have occurred this year. I guess that's the way things were supposed to be- maybe Thatha never really wanted us to reflect on the year gone by?
All things said and done, 2008 has been a pretty good year for me. Apart from the loss of an ardent supporter I have done well- and so has Indian cricket! Thatha would be REALLY proud!
This is to a new beginning-
I hope 2009, doesn't pass as fast as 2008 did! Happy New Year, everyone!
-Ananya
Usually, on new year's eve we (Amma, Appa, Achala and I- and sometimes Amamma) used to stay up watching movies and Thatha would go to sleep. At 12 all of us would go down, wake him up and sing "Happy Birthday"! It was tons of fun! It was like there was something to look forward to... but now, there's NOTHING... But why the sudden change?
A year ago, exactly a year ago, no one would've expected the year 2009 to arrive without the shrieks of "Happy Birthday Thatha/Appa!" Now i sit here wondering how fast things happened. I mean one day i was sitting with Thatha discussing which IPL match we should attend and the next day i was watching the IPL without him.
2008 has really "zoomed" by, and i don't think many of us have had the chance to sit back and think about the things that have happened. I for one have been way too busy with school and cricket to really reflect on the events that have occurred this year. I guess that's the way things were supposed to be- maybe Thatha never really wanted us to reflect on the year gone by?
All things said and done, 2008 has been a pretty good year for me. Apart from the loss of an ardent supporter I have done well- and so has Indian cricket! Thatha would be REALLY proud!
This is to a new beginning-
I hope 2009, doesn't pass as fast as 2008 did! Happy New Year, everyone!
-Ananya
Sunday, November 16, 2008
The Thatha Factor
by Ananya
I started off the 2008-09 cricket season on a high, and i owe a lot of this success to, what i call, "The Thatha Factor".
It started off in Warangal- the inter-district tournament- in September. I took a photo of Thatha (and me)- that was taken when we were in the United States- along with me since i call Thatha "my source of inspiration". I put the photo in my kit bag and never took it out. Of course i did take a glimpse of it before every match, but otherwise he always watched me play "through my kit bag"! The tournament went off well, and i was 'crowned' "the best all-rounder".
Next came the under-19 tournament in Anantapur. I was named vice-captain which meant i had a lot of 'responsibility'. Again, I took Thatha along with me. The first two matches (against Kerala and Karnataka) were complete disasters, but we came back strongly in the next three (Tamli Nadu, Goa and Andhra); I scored a half-century, took a few good catches and bowled pretty well.
What's most striking about both these tournaments is the fact that whenever we lost (3 out of 8 matches) Thatha wasn't 'watching me play'... He was sitting in my hotel room, but when he was watching from my kit bag, we always won, and i always managed to do well!
Coincidence?
I strongly believe that it isn't a coincidence... It's what i call "The Thatha Factor". I've always thought of Thatha as 'my source of inspiration'. He was one person who strongly believed that i could "make it big as a cricketer". He saw me play my first match, he saw me score my first run, take my first wicket and my first catch! Maybe he wasn't 'there' through it all, but i knew i could always count on him to be there when it mattered.
I don't confess things very easily... But when i do end up playing for India , i always wanted to give the first ticket (to the match) to Thatha (and the next to Appa). Now, I've decided to give it to Ammamma.
I won't rest until i reach my goal...
This is for you, Thatha- I WILL PLAY FOR INDIA! NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES!
I started off the 2008-09 cricket season on a high, and i owe a lot of this success to, what i call, "The Thatha Factor".
It started off in Warangal- the inter-district tournament- in September. I took a photo of Thatha (and me)- that was taken when we were in the United States- along with me since i call Thatha "my source of inspiration". I put the photo in my kit bag and never took it out. Of course i did take a glimpse of it before every match, but otherwise he always watched me play "through my kit bag"! The tournament went off well, and i was 'crowned' "the best all-rounder".
Next came the under-19 tournament in Anantapur. I was named vice-captain which meant i had a lot of 'responsibility'. Again, I took Thatha along with me. The first two matches (against Kerala and Karnataka) were complete disasters, but we came back strongly in the next three (Tamli Nadu, Goa and Andhra); I scored a half-century, took a few good catches and bowled pretty well.
What's most striking about both these tournaments is the fact that whenever we lost (3 out of 8 matches) Thatha wasn't 'watching me play'... He was sitting in my hotel room, but when he was watching from my kit bag, we always won, and i always managed to do well!
Coincidence?
I strongly believe that it isn't a coincidence... It's what i call "The Thatha Factor". I've always thought of Thatha as 'my source of inspiration'. He was one person who strongly believed that i could "make it big as a cricketer". He saw me play my first match, he saw me score my first run, take my first wicket and my first catch! Maybe he wasn't 'there' through it all, but i knew i could always count on him to be there when it mattered.
I don't confess things very easily... But when i do end up playing for India , i always wanted to give the first ticket (to the match) to Thatha (and the next to Appa). Now, I've decided to give it to Ammamma.
I won't rest until i reach my goal...
This is for you, Thatha- I WILL PLAY FOR INDIA! NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES!
Monday, November 3, 2008
Time, Life and LifeTimes
I wake up each morning and staring at me from the wall in front of my bed is a 8x10 picture of Appa taken on the Staten Island Ferry on his 2003 trip. He has his familiar smile and his hair completely dishevelled because of the strong breeze cutting across the bay. Appa did not like his hair to be out of place too much except while playing with kids. The breeze though did not care too much for his preferences. I look at that face for a few seconds and then get on with my morning. It serves as a reminder of what is important in my life.
Just like Usha said in her last post, there are so many bottled experiences that one carries. Unfortunately most people carry more unpleasant experiences than pleasant ones around and they keep reacquainting themselves with it. Appa never quite did that. He tried very hard and succeeded most times in having something good to say about most experiences and people. That in of itself is a remarkable trait.
The first few months (I can't believe its been more than six months now!), the picture took me back to those days in April, the early morning phone call, the wait in the Indian Consulate for my passport, my landing at the Hyerabad airport, traveling to the hospital and the events that followed. It was difficult to shift from those images. Soon enough, the scenes changed to nostalgic ones. Remembrances of my childhood, willing myself to pull back from the archives of my memories, days spent in Ethiopia, St. John's Road, the summers in Tarnaka and so many more events that bring back a smile on my face. However in the past few days, that picture has evoked something entirely different feelings in me. Not of the past, but of the future. Of people and things that are important, goals yet to be accomplished, time to spent with the loved ones and memories that are yet to be created.
So many of us are so busy with our lives and the whole world around us seems to be focused on figuring out how to extend life by a few more years. So busy trying to fit more TIME into our LIVES. I think that's where Appa really got it right. He just focused on putting more LIFE into his TIME. That is why he has meant so much to so many. He shared his life with so many, that you can find traces of him with so many people. Truly, he lived multiple lives thru the lives of so many people. As Keats so beautifully said, "A thing of beauty is a joy forever, its loveliness lasts but it will never". Isn't the loveliness more important anyways? Isn't what we give out more important than that which we keep. For by working, we make a living, but by giving, we make a life.
Just like Usha said in her last post, there are so many bottled experiences that one carries. Unfortunately most people carry more unpleasant experiences than pleasant ones around and they keep reacquainting themselves with it. Appa never quite did that. He tried very hard and succeeded most times in having something good to say about most experiences and people. That in of itself is a remarkable trait.
The first few months (I can't believe its been more than six months now!), the picture took me back to those days in April, the early morning phone call, the wait in the Indian Consulate for my passport, my landing at the Hyerabad airport, traveling to the hospital and the events that followed. It was difficult to shift from those images. Soon enough, the scenes changed to nostalgic ones. Remembrances of my childhood, willing myself to pull back from the archives of my memories, days spent in Ethiopia, St. John's Road, the summers in Tarnaka and so many more events that bring back a smile on my face. However in the past few days, that picture has evoked something entirely different feelings in me. Not of the past, but of the future. Of people and things that are important, goals yet to be accomplished, time to spent with the loved ones and memories that are yet to be created.
So many of us are so busy with our lives and the whole world around us seems to be focused on figuring out how to extend life by a few more years. So busy trying to fit more TIME into our LIVES. I think that's where Appa really got it right. He just focused on putting more LIFE into his TIME. That is why he has meant so much to so many. He shared his life with so many, that you can find traces of him with so many people. Truly, he lived multiple lives thru the lives of so many people. As Keats so beautifully said, "A thing of beauty is a joy forever, its loveliness lasts but it will never". Isn't the loveliness more important anyways? Isn't what we give out more important than that which we keep. For by working, we make a living, but by giving, we make a life.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
A lot of remembering!
Last Sunday was the 21st--it's a date that seems to come around with alarming frequency...can you believe it, twelve times a year, and five times already in the past five months! Not that the 21st is special. In fact, it is as un-special as a date can get. But those of us who read this blog recall with painful precision what exactly that date means. I know that with time things such as dates and times get fuzzy and events acquire a bottled significance that has nothing to do with markings on a calendar. "Bottled" like perfume, because you can take them out at will and feel everything that was felt at the beginning; and then put away, safely, so that they lurk somewhere in the corner of your mind, safely, while you go on with the business of your day. They can either be like a faint whiff that enters the edge of your consciousness, touching your every activity with a certain unmistakable fragrance, or like an overpowering scent that leaves you reeling.
Last Sunday brought a bit of both. Amma and I went to a memorial meeting held for a dear friend, Janaki Iyer, who passed away two years ago, on September 15. It was a small gathering; about twenty friends who had spent time with her in various ways, almost all associated either directly or indirectly with the small school she ran for girls who would otherwise never have a chance at education, Ananda Bharati. Appa knew Janaki and her husband (Ja and Steve, as their friends know them) and Ja's sister, Kamla, who taught economics at the University and remembered Appa as a colleague of many years. Kamli, as we call her, had not met Amma or me since Appa's passing, though she had spoke to us on the phone. She recalled how, one time when she was just arriving at Science College on the Osmania Campus, as her auto pulled up Appa came to her and said, "There's a bandh and there won't be any classes today--why don't you just take this same auto back; otherwise it's going to be hard to get one." She was really surprised that a senior colleague would take the trouble to come out and tell her that--the general attitude in the department was, "Well. we are all sitting her and can't get out even though there is no work, let her come and suffer as well!" When I told her that he was not an ordinary father, her response was "But he was not an ordinary human being!"
We spent the rest of that meeting reminiscing about Janaki, but for me it seemed a great way to spend a 21st, in the company of good people, who believed in good work, sharing a warmth that such commitment brings.
Last Sunday brought a bit of both. Amma and I went to a memorial meeting held for a dear friend, Janaki Iyer, who passed away two years ago, on September 15. It was a small gathering; about twenty friends who had spent time with her in various ways, almost all associated either directly or indirectly with the small school she ran for girls who would otherwise never have a chance at education, Ananda Bharati. Appa knew Janaki and her husband (Ja and Steve, as their friends know them) and Ja's sister, Kamla, who taught economics at the University and remembered Appa as a colleague of many years. Kamli, as we call her, had not met Amma or me since Appa's passing, though she had spoke to us on the phone. She recalled how, one time when she was just arriving at Science College on the Osmania Campus, as her auto pulled up Appa came to her and said, "There's a bandh and there won't be any classes today--why don't you just take this same auto back; otherwise it's going to be hard to get one." She was really surprised that a senior colleague would take the trouble to come out and tell her that--the general attitude in the department was, "Well. we are all sitting her and can't get out even though there is no work, let her come and suffer as well!" When I told her that he was not an ordinary father, her response was "But he was not an ordinary human being!"
We spent the rest of that meeting reminiscing about Janaki, but for me it seemed a great way to spend a 21st, in the company of good people, who believed in good work, sharing a warmth that such commitment brings.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
"Annan oru kovil"
Vijaya Raman, appa's youngest sister, was particularly close to him. She says there are many memories she would like to share but words often fail her. This sums up her feelings...
"In fact my dearest brother can be described as a 'Mahatma' who possessed all extraordinary noble qualities like perseverance, patience, sense of sacrifice, ever smiling and rendering physical, mental and financial help to everyone in need, all who were in the midst of difficulties. He never hesitated to rush in and help immediately.
I still remember the day when our loving father left this world, in 1954. My younger brother was just a year and a half old. The whole responsibility of looking after the family fell on my older brothers, who were only in their early twenties. Pattabhi anna's patience and self sacrifice helped him face all the challenges. Whenever praise was showered on him by me, he used to pass on the credit to his 'ardhangini', my loving manni. Yes, it was only due to their mutual understanding and support that all problems were resolved. He is a role model for me in my own life.
In the real sense, anna occupies an exalted position in the temple of my heart. May his soul rest in peace."
"In fact my dearest brother can be described as a 'Mahatma' who possessed all extraordinary noble qualities like perseverance, patience, sense of sacrifice, ever smiling and rendering physical, mental and financial help to everyone in need, all who were in the midst of difficulties. He never hesitated to rush in and help immediately.
I still remember the day when our loving father left this world, in 1954. My younger brother was just a year and a half old. The whole responsibility of looking after the family fell on my older brothers, who were only in their early twenties. Pattabhi anna's patience and self sacrifice helped him face all the challenges. Whenever praise was showered on him by me, he used to pass on the credit to his 'ardhangini', my loving manni. Yes, it was only due to their mutual understanding and support that all problems were resolved. He is a role model for me in my own life.
In the real sense, anna occupies an exalted position in the temple of my heart. May his soul rest in peace."
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Thoughts of Pattabhi
Mallikarjuna Rao on the occassion of his 80th birthday has this to say about appa
I have just completed 80 years and at this juncture my thoughts go only to Pattabhi. He was meticulously noting dates of birth of all his close relations in his diary and greeting them on the occasion. On this occasion of mine he would have definitely joined us in the house at Bangalore and given us the pleasure of his company. Though there was no celebration in the house for obvious reasons, personally I miss his company. I always considered him as a role model who had all the noble and extraordinary qualities in him. Whether I would stand up to his stature in spite of my advanced age is a difficult question for me to answer. Though I have lost my parents at an early age and other near and dear ones in the family my grief was only short lived where as the agony that I am passing through within myself after Pattabhi’s death is indescribable though outwardly I may not appear tobe so. When such is the case with me, I can well feel the amount of grief and sorrow in sundari’s face whenever she thinks of him .Her grief increases all the more whenever she talks to Pattabhi’s wife Lakshmi at Secunderabad and at that time I realize the great bond Pattabhi has created in his sister. This is rarely found in modern families when people live for themselves.
With heavy heart I could only say that Pattabhi wanted to leave this world when all wanted him to be amidst them. While this may be so, he as a Teacher has not left behind a legacy who could equal him or atleast stand upto him for none can equal or stand upto him.
Dated K Mallikarjuna Rao
2/9/08 Bangalore 54
I have just completed 80 years and at this juncture my thoughts go only to Pattabhi. He was meticulously noting dates of birth of all his close relations in his diary and greeting them on the occasion. On this occasion of mine he would have definitely joined us in the house at Bangalore and given us the pleasure of his company. Though there was no celebration in the house for obvious reasons, personally I miss his company. I always considered him as a role model who had all the noble and extraordinary qualities in him. Whether I would stand up to his stature in spite of my advanced age is a difficult question for me to answer. Though I have lost my parents at an early age and other near and dear ones in the family my grief was only short lived where as the agony that I am passing through within myself after Pattabhi’s death is indescribable though outwardly I may not appear tobe so. When such is the case with me, I can well feel the amount of grief and sorrow in sundari’s face whenever she thinks of him .Her grief increases all the more whenever she talks to Pattabhi’s wife Lakshmi at Secunderabad and at that time I realize the great bond Pattabhi has created in his sister. This is rarely found in modern families when people live for themselves.
With heavy heart I could only say that Pattabhi wanted to leave this world when all wanted him to be amidst them. While this may be so, he as a Teacher has not left behind a legacy who could equal him or atleast stand upto him for none can equal or stand upto him.
Dated K Mallikarjuna Rao
2/9/08 Bangalore 54
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Google Talk, Yahoo Chess, Cricket and more....
I just happened to be cleaning up my Google mail box and I discovered an old voicemail that Appa had left for me on my birthday last year. This one was unusually long. A whole 30 seconds. What a precious find!! This would be the last time I receive a message from him for my birthday.
Its been 4 months to the exact day now. For the first few days, I was counting the minutes, then the hours, then the days, and now its been 4 whole months. Time is surely a sly thief of your memories, slowly fading the images and sounds in your mind. Maybe that is not so true anymore with the digital age. Each of us has volumes of digital pictures, videos and sounds that are stashed away in hard disks on our computer, ready to be recalled at our command.
Appa had a different way of keeping his memories fresh. He recounted so many incidents and people on such a regular basis that, his past and present were all coexisting together. That was one of the reasons his affection towards people was always true and fresh in his mind. He never forgot what they meant to him and that was the very reason he felt the urge to keep in touch. It was only the last 2 or 3 years that he really started using GoogleTalk to keep in touch with the family. What a blessing it was!! I don't think anything else brought him as much pleasure. Just the simple knowledge that he could communicate (for free!!!) at the click of a mouse gave him an immense sense of closeness towards his people.
Of course with the GoogleTalk came the Yahoo!Chess as well. The hours that he spent on it, oh boy! was he hooked. You could not peel him away for his chair if he was in the middle of a game. I think it started in 2003 when I introduced him to the online chess site during one of his visits here. Never thought it would be such a big part of his life. It brings back memories of when Ashok (Viji athai's son) used to visit us during the summer holidays and we would play easily about a 100 games of chess over the course of his stay. Appa was an avid chess player. Not great by any means, but you could not find a more enthusiastic player. He did not care so much for the nuances of the game, or knowing every gambit there was, or studying great games of the past. He wanted to be in the thick of it, playing. If you did not think chess can have a nail-biting finish, well, you have not seen appa play. It was sight, to say the least. A sight that I shall surely miss.
Cricket was his first love though, when it comes to sports. I don't really know if he played much, but he had to be the most consistently enthusiastic fan of the sport. While I was home this summer, I got a chance to see some of his cricket score books, and he had scorecards of games from around 1950. Almost every visit of his to the US seemed to coincide with the World Cup, and his pre-condition for coming over was that I would arrange to have the telecast at home. Among my friends, it was a given that if appa was around, then I was definitely subscribing to whatever cricket packages were on TV. Long before the TV days, I have vivid memories of waking up early in the morning and seeing appa lying down next to his ShortWave radio tuning into the commentary of a test match in the West Indies. I don't think he ever missed an India match. His mood (sometimes) reflected India's performance, that was the degree of his involvement.
GoogleTalk, Yahoo!Chess and Cricket ...
On a parting note. Appa always wanted to go to China. Well this time, I guess he got the best seats at the Olympics after all.
Its been 4 months to the exact day now. For the first few days, I was counting the minutes, then the hours, then the days, and now its been 4 whole months. Time is surely a sly thief of your memories, slowly fading the images and sounds in your mind. Maybe that is not so true anymore with the digital age. Each of us has volumes of digital pictures, videos and sounds that are stashed away in hard disks on our computer, ready to be recalled at our command.
Appa had a different way of keeping his memories fresh. He recounted so many incidents and people on such a regular basis that, his past and present were all coexisting together. That was one of the reasons his affection towards people was always true and fresh in his mind. He never forgot what they meant to him and that was the very reason he felt the urge to keep in touch. It was only the last 2 or 3 years that he really started using GoogleTalk to keep in touch with the family. What a blessing it was!! I don't think anything else brought him as much pleasure. Just the simple knowledge that he could communicate (for free!!!) at the click of a mouse gave him an immense sense of closeness towards his people.
Of course with the GoogleTalk came the Yahoo!Chess as well. The hours that he spent on it, oh boy! was he hooked. You could not peel him away for his chair if he was in the middle of a game. I think it started in 2003 when I introduced him to the online chess site during one of his visits here. Never thought it would be such a big part of his life. It brings back memories of when Ashok (Viji athai's son) used to visit us during the summer holidays and we would play easily about a 100 games of chess over the course of his stay. Appa was an avid chess player. Not great by any means, but you could not find a more enthusiastic player. He did not care so much for the nuances of the game, or knowing every gambit there was, or studying great games of the past. He wanted to be in the thick of it, playing. If you did not think chess can have a nail-biting finish, well, you have not seen appa play. It was sight, to say the least. A sight that I shall surely miss.
Cricket was his first love though, when it comes to sports. I don't really know if he played much, but he had to be the most consistently enthusiastic fan of the sport. While I was home this summer, I got a chance to see some of his cricket score books, and he had scorecards of games from around 1950. Almost every visit of his to the US seemed to coincide with the World Cup, and his pre-condition for coming over was that I would arrange to have the telecast at home. Among my friends, it was a given that if appa was around, then I was definitely subscribing to whatever cricket packages were on TV. Long before the TV days, I have vivid memories of waking up early in the morning and seeing appa lying down next to his ShortWave radio tuning into the commentary of a test match in the West Indies. I don't think he ever missed an India match. His mood (sometimes) reflected India's performance, that was the degree of his involvement.
GoogleTalk, Yahoo!Chess and Cricket ...
On a parting note. Appa always wanted to go to China. Well this time, I guess he got the best seats at the Olympics after all.
Friday, August 1, 2008
math problems and all that
it is funny how we keep coming back to this space hoping to discover something new. perhaps hoping to re-discover something old, hold it in the present, re-live it and make it our own again. the summer is over and the kids are back in school, only this year thatha won't be there to pick them (well one of them) up or drop them off at a moment's notice. he won't be there to ask the random math question or to argue with about leaving pens and pencils lying about where they shouldn't be.
one summer when appa went to the US achala was worried that she wouldn't have enough help with her math homework. she needn't have worried. before he left, he filled three notebooks with solutions to every single problem in her maths text, some with two or three alternative solutions, complete with comments and explanatory notes on why he done it one way or another! now he has left behind several diaries; some with just a sentence or two about the day's weather did or what india scored in a cricket match. others hold insights into things he felt and thought.
of course, words on paper are never quite enough. but unlike so many others, not only do we have those words on paper, but we also have the thoughts in our heads to share and relive. and that's one of the reasons i, for one keep coming back here. hoping to discover bits of my father that others might hold in their minds.
one summer when appa went to the US achala was worried that she wouldn't have enough help with her math homework. she needn't have worried. before he left, he filled three notebooks with solutions to every single problem in her maths text, some with two or three alternative solutions, complete with comments and explanatory notes on why he done it one way or another! now he has left behind several diaries; some with just a sentence or two about the day's weather did or what india scored in a cricket match. others hold insights into things he felt and thought.
of course, words on paper are never quite enough. but unlike so many others, not only do we have those words on paper, but we also have the thoughts in our heads to share and relive. and that's one of the reasons i, for one keep coming back here. hoping to discover bits of my father that others might hold in their minds.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Re-visiting Hyderabad
21 June 2008
Two months have passed since chittappa left us.Time is flying so fast.Though I can not clearly remember my association with chittappa and chitti during my childhood days at Secundrabad, I remember bursting lot of crackers during the first Diwali after their marriage.True to his name chittappa was ever smiling and I have never seen him getting angry. Chittappa and chitti are my role model and a source of inspiration not only to me but every body who knew them.I can never forget the care I received from them when I had health problems way back in Delhi and US.They drove all the way from Edison to Jersy City and my stay with them made me recover in a couple of days.Such was their nature,ever ready to help the needy even without asking.It is very rare to find such people.I was very happy when my husband was transfered to Hyderabad as I knew that chittappa and chitti were always there to take care of him and enable me to be with my favourite chittappa and chitti often.During the last two years I made frequent trips to Hyderabad and spent lot of time with chitti and chittappa.My husband would drop me at Vikrampuri while going to office and pick me up while returning.We would be sitting and talking about every thing on the earth .Chittappa could relate to every body right from old people to small children.His knowledge was so wast that the person listening to him would never get bored.He never used to sleep in the afternoon,he used to play chess by himself on the computer. I will be going to Hyderabad next week to wind up and will miss his reply to the door bell"COMING". I consider myself very fortunate to have Lakshmi chitti and Pattabi chittappa as my aunt and uncle and am sure that they will continue to shower their love and affection and blessings as ever.
Latha Vasudevan.
And from a sister-in -law...
I fondly remember the days I spent with my sister and my brother in law. He was a wonderful person. I have never seen him shout at any one. He was always smiling and calm. He was there for our family whenever we needed his support.
When my son in law Vijay passed away on June 4th 2005, he came to Bombay to be with my daughter Raji and stood by her. He consoled her and asked her to be bold and express her views without any fears. He was a man of integrity and staunch principles in life, who was loved by all and respected. We remember him for all his goodness and advice.
Vasantha Natarajan
From Kasturi
It is raining very heavily and the atmosphere is quite gloomy. Although three months have passed it is very difficult to accept that Anna is not with us anymore. But here I am making great efforts to tell myself to come to terms with the reality . I can't imagine a Hyd without Anna, or why Hyd a world without Anna.
Let me not cheat myself. I have to accept the truth that Anna will not be there with us .
But memories of Anna will always remain fresh in all our minds at all times. Anna must have visited Mumbai several times. But each time he came he use to miss the way and
in the process discover new roads and gullys that we were not aware of. There was a period when his purse would always be pickpocketed when he came to Mumbai. But after all this he would never complain. He would smilingly say "maybe he needed it more than me".
The more we write about him the less it is.
Kasturi
Thursday, June 19, 2008
thoughts on a muggy morning
How do we measure our lives? In a recent Hollywood film, 'The Bucket List', it was said that we can measure our leaves by those who measure their lives against ours...in a circular way, that's saying that we are measured by the standards we set in various facets of life. It's been two months since appa left us, and I at least am reminded all the time of the standards he set for himself, never, really for others. Those standards are hard to live up to, because they are not articulated in terms of any material achievement. They have to do with relating to people, to how we think of ourselves in isolation as well as in relation to others and in relation to what we do. And appa never held these standards up as something to remark on, but lived them with a naturalness and lightness easy to take for granted. Because of this, some things that seem to have become things to 'remark upon' have for us simply been normal everyday qualities. For instance...treating people with dignity and gentleness is simply the way to be, it is not separate from any general idea of goodness. Thought and action are inseparable; one cannot act apart from belief. Simple, but increasingly difficult ideas to live by, in a world where extreme relativism makes everything acceptable (with reference to an ever changing context).
But having grown up with someone who was able to live this way, and lived it so (as I said before) "lightly", I know that it's not impossible. Difficult, yes. The commitment is to the belief that ideas are absolute to oneself, but they are not to be applied in judgment of others. If you think that something is the right thing to do, go ahead and do it, as long as you cannnot see any harm in it to others. If something makes others happy, then if it doesn't interfere with your innate sense of right and wrong, then go ahead and do it.
These standards appear to make life simple for those who live by them, but they do complicate things for others, who perhaps live by different standards or none at all. Sometimes living with appa was not so easy. Because though he never ostensibly demanded anything of anyone else, he did force you (if you were the kind to introspect and worry about such things) to demand it of yourself.
And that's the hardest thing to do--to demand something of yourself, and then to deliver action that meets those demands. Until it becomes a habit. As it had become, for appa.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
(Almost) 50 years ago...
It was on 9-06-59 we came to know Pattabi (I call him chittappa). It was the Janvasam day of Lakshmi chitti‘s wedding, which was the next day. On that day there was heavy rain. Fortunately preparation at Gaddi Adduppu was over by then and so the evening function went off well. We were all trying to clear the mess caused by the rain when a soft voice behind us said “can we also join you”? It was from the groom’s party of course. We set it right, despite the wet fire place and things were set right by 11pm with the help of my senior co brothers. Some of the invitees had to wade through knee deep water. But all the groom's party took it with smile though we were a bit nervous. That was my first experience & has been my continuing experience with chitappa
Myself & Nagaraja periappa (our senior brother in law) are very short tempered & whenever there is an argument there will be loss of temper on both sides. Natraja perippa & Pattabi chitappa were the peacemakers to reduce the heat. Natraj perippa laugh was loud & visible even from a distance (you see him shaking) whereas chitappa’s is docile yet piercing. We lost vakadai perippa in 1965 now the other peace maker is lost. I just leave it you to imagine my heart's condition.
While writing about chitappa I remember one story I use to tell my children. Gajendra, the elephant was caught by a crocodile and after a long struggle it called out to the lord. The lord just rushed to the spot without informing his consort, without his chakkara & without garuda. In case of any need in our family chitti & chitappa would both be by us even without our calling.
I do not want to get emotional . But let us try the way chitappa used to console ourself
Kannan (MVP's brother in law, Lakshmi's sister Sushila's husband)
Coimbatore 10-06-08
Myself & Nagaraja periappa (our senior brother in law) are very short tempered & whenever there is an argument there will be loss of temper on both sides. Natraja perippa & Pattabi chitappa were the peacemakers to reduce the heat. Natraj perippa laugh was loud & visible even from a distance (you see him shaking) whereas chitappa’s is docile yet piercing. We lost vakadai perippa in 1965 now the other peace maker is lost. I just leave it you to imagine my heart's condition.
While writing about chitappa I remember one story I use to tell my children. Gajendra, the elephant was caught by a crocodile and after a long struggle it called out to the lord. The lord just rushed to the spot without informing his consort, without his chakkara & without garuda. In case of any need in our family chitti & chitappa would both be by us even without our calling.
I do not want to get emotional . But let us try the way chitappa used to console ourself
Kannan (MVP's brother in law, Lakshmi's sister Sushila's husband)
Coimbatore 10-06-08
Monday, June 9, 2008
A Marriage made in heaven
It has been forty eight years since that hail storm on the 10th of June in Secunderabad when Pattabhiraman and Lakhsmi were joined together in marriage. I hear from people that witnessed that event that they had never seen rain like that. I take it the event was thoroughly blessed by the heavens.
Many if not most of the couples in the puranas continue their partnership thru many ages. Life is no barrier to their companionship, they are soul-mates; it is merely a transition point to the next role that they have to play. I cannot think of a couple closer to that idea than my own parents. Maybe the comparison seems too far fetched, but I suspect that most people really agree with me.
There are couples and then there are couples. Some take years to understand each other and reach a compromise and understanding, some never ever get there, and then there are some who are like two professional dancers. They anticipate the partners move and are not only in position, but thinking one step ahead. There is no give and take in this partnership, just give. Both only give; the taking is left to someone else for they know that a true partnership can only be born out of complete commitment and sacrifice for each others cause. The deep desire is to complete the other person and fulfill the partners’ needs, for that is what gives them the true satisfaction. Separate, yet together, almost to the point of being inseparable.
A man and a woman joined in holy matrimony, to have and to hold, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer; what God has joined together, let no man put asunder. And till eternity shall it last!!
Dearest Amma (and Appa), on this very special day, I salute and celebrate with great honor, the wonderful bond that you have created, for its ripples will be felt for ages!!
a professor remembers his graduate student, and a student remembers his professor
Prof Peter Lancaster of the University of Calgary was Appa's PhD advisor and Appa was his first graduate student. He shared this memory with us:
I remember Raman with great fondness--my very first PhD student! We were good friends and he maintained a happy disposition and high personal standards as long as I knew him. I remember in the 1960s when he was the only person who, in a Calgary winter, would cross the campus with no coat on!
The world is a better place for his part in it.
Appa obtained his doctorate in 1968 from the University of Calgary in an area of number theory called functional analysis.
Many of his students too have shared memories with us. Prof V Ganeshan, formerly with the CIEFL in Hyderabad, sent this message--
I remember Raman with great fondness--my very first PhD student! We were good friends and he maintained a happy disposition and high personal standards as long as I knew him. I remember in the 1960s when he was the only person who, in a Calgary winter, would cross the campus with no coat on!
The world is a better place for his part in it.
Appa obtained his doctorate in 1968 from the University of Calgary in an area of number theory called functional analysis.
Many of his students too have shared memories with us. Prof V Ganeshan, formerly with the CIEFL in Hyderabad, sent this message--
Deeply saddened to hear about the death of your father and my teacher, Prof. Pattabhiraman, I am writing these lines to extend my heartfelt condolences to you and your family.
I had the greatest respect for your father. As you know he was my friend and guide whenever I had to face challenges as an administrator of CIEFL.
He was, as a teacher and a human being, a great source of knowledge and strength to everyone around him and I used feel fortunate to interact with him as often as I could. He was very highly respected throughout the teaching community. His good works, timely advice and help changed the life of many.
He shares this poem with us, and with all those who have lost a loved one...
TO THOSE I LOVE AND THOSE WHO LOVE ME
When I am gone, release me, and let me go….
I have so many things to see and do.
You mustn’t tie yourself to me with tears;
Be happy that we had so many years.
I gave to you my love, you can only guess
how much you gave me in Happiness.
I thank you for the love you each have shown
but now it’s time I traveled on alone.
To grieve a while for me if grieve you must;
Then let your grief be comforted by trust.
It’s only for a while that we must part,
So bless the memories within your heart.
I won’t be far away, for life goes on;
So if you need me, call and I will come.
Though you can’t see me or touch me, I’ll be near
and if you listen with your heart, you’ll hear,
all of my love around you soft and clear.
And then, when you must come this way alone,
I’ll greet you with a smile and say,
“Welcome Home”
- Author Unknown
He shares this poem with us, and with all those who have lost a loved one...
TO THOSE I LOVE AND THOSE WHO LOVE ME
When I am gone, release me, and let me go….
I have so many things to see and do.
You mustn’t tie yourself to me with tears;
Be happy that we had so many years.
I gave to you my love, you can only guess
how much you gave me in Happiness.
I thank you for the love you each have shown
but now it’s time I traveled on alone.
To grieve a while for me if grieve you must;
Then let your grief be comforted by trust.
It’s only for a while that we must part,
So bless the memories within your heart.
I won’t be far away, for life goes on;
So if you need me, call and I will come.
Though you can’t see me or touch me, I’ll be near
and if you listen with your heart, you’ll hear,
all of my love around you soft and clear.
And then, when you must come this way alone,
I’ll greet you with a smile and say,
“Welcome Home”
- Author Unknown
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Ramani and Raman
This morning I was driving to work when I noticed a cassette case sitting on the dashboard that had Appa's handwriting on it. I removed the tape of old Hindi songs that was in the player and replaced it with this tape--a live recording of flutist Ramani in concert, most likely somewhere in the US. I rarely listen to Carnatic music when I drive because it doesn't exactly keep me focused on the road. But I decided to let Ramani accompany me to work this time.
It was like having Appa in the car with me. He didn't like sitting in the front passenger seat--when someone else drove, he usually preferred to sit in the back because fastening the seat belt was such a pain! The first song that played was the popular "Varalakshmi Baramma", something I had never really heard played on an instrument. I could see Appa picking up his flute in the morning and playing a little...often he did this to our protests, because the sound was so amateurish, so plaintive, but he usually persisted, because not only did he enjoy the sensation of playing the instrument, but he also enjoyed being playfully irksome.
It was this playful irksomeness that taught me the little Carnatic music I know. He would play the radio loud--and during the music season, this meant he played it loud at 2 a.m.!--and insist on telling us about the melakartas and their derivatives, about the heritage that had come to us from Appaya Dikshitar and others, about what each raga meant. Most of it fell on uninterested ears but over the years it had the effect of cultivating in both my brother and me a deep appreciation for--if not knowledge of--our musical tradition. Appa had his own ways of inculcating this appreciation in us. For instance, when, as a 12 or 13 year old, I asked for permission to go watch a Hindi or Hollywood movie with my school friends, he would ask me to submit the application in writing, and undertake to attend an hour of a classical concert or a discourse on the epics, as 'subsitutive' cultural education! In this way I accumulated several hours worth of cultural education, and learned things I probably never would have, in a way that didn't really seem like "learning"!
Well, by the time I reached work this morning, Ramani had played for me several more tunes, including "Krishna Nee Begane Baro", "Aadu Paambe"--the latter being one of Appa's favourites. And, more importantly, he had allowed me to recapture some of these memories.
It was like having Appa in the car with me. He didn't like sitting in the front passenger seat--when someone else drove, he usually preferred to sit in the back because fastening the seat belt was such a pain! The first song that played was the popular "Varalakshmi Baramma", something I had never really heard played on an instrument. I could see Appa picking up his flute in the morning and playing a little...often he did this to our protests, because the sound was so amateurish, so plaintive, but he usually persisted, because not only did he enjoy the sensation of playing the instrument, but he also enjoyed being playfully irksome.
It was this playful irksomeness that taught me the little Carnatic music I know. He would play the radio loud--and during the music season, this meant he played it loud at 2 a.m.!--and insist on telling us about the melakartas and their derivatives, about the heritage that had come to us from Appaya Dikshitar and others, about what each raga meant. Most of it fell on uninterested ears but over the years it had the effect of cultivating in both my brother and me a deep appreciation for--if not knowledge of--our musical tradition. Appa had his own ways of inculcating this appreciation in us. For instance, when, as a 12 or 13 year old, I asked for permission to go watch a Hindi or Hollywood movie with my school friends, he would ask me to submit the application in writing, and undertake to attend an hour of a classical concert or a discourse on the epics, as 'subsitutive' cultural education! In this way I accumulated several hours worth of cultural education, and learned things I probably never would have, in a way that didn't really seem like "learning"!
Well, by the time I reached work this morning, Ramani had played for me several more tunes, including "Krishna Nee Begane Baro", "Aadu Paambe"--the latter being one of Appa's favourites. And, more importantly, he had allowed me to recapture some of these memories.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Permanent Connections
Ours has been a family that, despite geographic extensions, has kept connections alive. The house in Hyderabad, whether in Begumpet, or St John's Road in Secunderabad, or Tarnaka and now Vikrampuri, has always been an open house, open to people in times of joy and sorrow, sickness and good health. And even in the worst of times there has been a certain peace that has held us all together. For the first forty five years of my father's life, our families--the brothers, their wives and children--lived as a unit. For us children, it was like having two sets of parents and an extra big brother to look after us and go to for anything we needed. My uncle, my father's brother Rangan, has this to say...
My association with Pattabhi spans a period of over seven decades. Scenes of the way we overcame various problems in life flash across my mind intermittently. We could meet the challenges in life mainly because of the togetherness that started in our childhood, which matured as we aged and sustained during entire life.The fact that our wives are cousins helped in the process. The help he rendered when fate took me away from Hyderabad in solving myriad problems connected with Govt Banks, etc will always remain fresh in my mind throughout life. Though I realise that it is almost impossible I will strive my best to fill the void.
Rangan
My association with Pattabhi spans a period of over seven decades. Scenes of the way we overcame various problems in life flash across my mind intermittently. We could meet the challenges in life mainly because of the togetherness that started in our childhood, which matured as we aged and sustained during entire life.The fact that our wives are cousins helped in the process. The help he rendered when fate took me away from Hyderabad in solving myriad problems connected with Govt Banks, etc will always remain fresh in my mind throughout life. Though I realise that it is almost impossible I will strive my best to fill the void.
Rangan
Sunday, May 25, 2008
A Legend Who Lived Amongst Us
I first met Pattabhi Chittappa in June 1959, a few days before his marriage. From then on he has and will continue to remain always a legend in my eyes. His virtues are so numerous, that I can not recall any one in my life that I have looked upon with a greater admiration than Chittappa. I was fortunate to have lived with him for a short time of 18 months in Begampet during my high school days. This is the time where I witnessed a person so good and noble that it was difficult for me to imagine anyone could ever be like that. It was my last home in India and I always think of my days there with fondness during my stay thereafter in Kharagpur and then in USA.
As many of you have written, he was a teacher of all good things not by lecturing about the values but by living it. I have rarely seen him angry except when warranted by some injustice to someone. He and Lakshmi Chitti have always been at the giving end and have always been there helping anyone and everyone. I know this was especially true for my very dear Paddu Chitti who in her last days was as happy as she could be in Vikrampuri with Chittappa and Lakshmi Chitti.
Chittappa lived a very high moral ground that will be difficult for many of us to follow but we can and should do everything to follow in his foot steps. That is the only way we can show our true love and respect for him.
Mohan
Monday, May 19, 2008
The Everlasting Wave
It was a Saturday night, almost a month ago now. We were in Albany, New York, talking to a group of people at a conference. Unbeknownst to me, at the same time, appa was getting reading to leave home for a swim at the Country Club in Begumpet. He was eager to get back to his routine after having been away from his normal routine for two weeks due to the biopsy that he had done on his ankle to figure out what was wrong with it. I don't think anyone including him had the faintest thought that the end was so near. Yet somehow, as things panned out over the next couple of days, he transitioned to the Great Beyond just like he did everything else in life, with a minimum of fuss and with a smile on his face. The pain that he felt in his ankle was real, but not any more real and definitely not greater than the joy he took in filling his day with activities that meant everything to him, not any more real than the disarming smile on his face which seemed to reflect the state of his soul.
I have never known a "younger" old man. He's been that way ever since I could remember and never quite aged as a person. The entity that was my dad, was always greater than the physical person. Maybe that is why, I feel he is still living amongst us. His childlike eagerness to greet each morning with his asanas, the enthusiasm to look forward to the upcoming events and people, his constant interest in knowing more about everything, the concern for his family's well being, the obsessive interest in cricket and chess, the joy of planning a trip for himself and others, the total involvement in his music; they all played a part in keeping him young and forward looking. I think (and know) he believed in living every day, and never wanted the thought of 'The End' to stop him from enjoying his living. Perhaps that is why he was defiant to the very end about giving into the pain he felt in his ankle and knees. He was not going to let even his body dictate the terms of his life. Now looking back, somehow, he has succeeded in living, more than a lot of us who are still 'alive', here and now, thru the apparent end.
I look at the pictures and I sometimes feel the despairing urge to see him in the flesh again, to be next to him, to talk to him, and yet in some strange way, there was a completeness to his life, much like a gentle wave that retracts from the beach having made its long journey across the ocean to the shore, as if its only purpose was to soothe your feet. The wave reached the shore and dissolved back into the ocean, but somehow passed on its essence to you. I suspect that he had much the same effect on people; a quiet and soothing presence. An effect that is felt more only when it is absent.
Talking about my dad is however like saying only half the story. The substance and strength of his convictions came from the immense devotion, love and unconditional support that my mother has always showered on him and also on the rest of the family. His sense of gratitude towards her was equally awesome. I am sure a lot of people have evidenced this phenomenal partnership. For Runa and myself and undoubtedly for a lot of people in our extended family, they have both been a great inspiration and a source of comfort and strength.
If appa's life was his message, then my mom is the very medium that delivered it with high fidelity. Its a message that she will always continue to deliver because it has now become an indistinguishable part of her.
As a son, as their child, what more can I ever ask of my parents than to show me by their own example as to how to live life, and live it so well! I know there are a great many things still to be encountered and experienced in my life, and the comfort of knowning "what would appa do?" only increases my urgency to move headlong into the future.
I have never known a "younger" old man. He's been that way ever since I could remember and never quite aged as a person. The entity that was my dad, was always greater than the physical person. Maybe that is why, I feel he is still living amongst us. His childlike eagerness to greet each morning with his asanas, the enthusiasm to look forward to the upcoming events and people, his constant interest in knowing more about everything, the concern for his family's well being, the obsessive interest in cricket and chess, the joy of planning a trip for himself and others, the total involvement in his music; they all played a part in keeping him young and forward looking. I think (and know) he believed in living every day, and never wanted the thought of 'The End' to stop him from enjoying his living. Perhaps that is why he was defiant to the very end about giving into the pain he felt in his ankle and knees. He was not going to let even his body dictate the terms of his life. Now looking back, somehow, he has succeeded in living, more than a lot of us who are still 'alive', here and now, thru the apparent end.
I look at the pictures and I sometimes feel the despairing urge to see him in the flesh again, to be next to him, to talk to him, and yet in some strange way, there was a completeness to his life, much like a gentle wave that retracts from the beach having made its long journey across the ocean to the shore, as if its only purpose was to soothe your feet. The wave reached the shore and dissolved back into the ocean, but somehow passed on its essence to you. I suspect that he had much the same effect on people; a quiet and soothing presence. An effect that is felt more only when it is absent.
Talking about my dad is however like saying only half the story. The substance and strength of his convictions came from the immense devotion, love and unconditional support that my mother has always showered on him and also on the rest of the family. His sense of gratitude towards her was equally awesome. I am sure a lot of people have evidenced this phenomenal partnership. For Runa and myself and undoubtedly for a lot of people in our extended family, they have both been a great inspiration and a source of comfort and strength.
If appa's life was his message, then my mom is the very medium that delivered it with high fidelity. Its a message that she will always continue to deliver because it has now become an indistinguishable part of her.
As a son, as their child, what more can I ever ask of my parents than to show me by their own example as to how to live life, and live it so well! I know there are a great many things still to be encountered and experienced in my life, and the comfort of knowning "what would appa do?" only increases my urgency to move headlong into the future.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
life's lessons
I need to begin by first saying a big thank you to all those who have posted their memories on this space. I know there are a lot more that are running around the spaces in our heads waiting to be shared. The blog has been an amazing way to replace (only partly though) those late-night chats that families get animatedly involved in, during summer holidays, weddings and other get-togethers, reminiscing, laughing and commenting on each others' lives.
It's been a bittersweet experience to read all the posts, over and over again, and to realise how much appa has meant to so many people. And how much his memory continues to mean. For me, his not being here in a physical sense has in a strange way meant that he is here all the time. When I drive to work and go past the pillar on the border of Parade Ground, I see him sitting there with Malli anna and his "Guruji", Lakshminarayan Mama, engaged in discussion about the meaning of life and living. As I cross the Paradise flyover and catch a glimpse of Secunderabad PG College I can see him as he was in the late sixties, a lecturer in the math department there. At Raniganj and James Street I see him as a young boy, in the 1940s, walking to school along the railway tracks with his friends, having missed the train to Secunderabad from Begumpet. And as my car groans its way over the traffic-jammed overpass at Begumpet Railway Station, I see him as he was the almost-last time I saw him--in the changing room at Country Club, smiling even as he told me, in a voice that refused to admit weakness, "I think it's a heart attack..."
Many of you have talked of his kindness, his selflessness, his constant smile. All that is true. But what I can talk about is what he taught me--not in the lecturing, admonishing sort of way most parents probably teach lessons, but in simply being what he believed in. As Controller of Examinations, as Vice Principal of Science College, as Principal of Nizam College, and just as a person, he refused to budge from belief. He held a few simple truths close to his heart, and he lived by them. To believe that you can make a difference by simply being honest, considerate to those less fortunate. To always understand that people cannot be all bad; that there must be an explanation for their "bad" behaviour--that everyone deserved the benefit of the doubt. To care deeply about the disadvantaged and the dispossessed. Yet, to enjoy the moment, to take extreme pleasure in the simple things of life--the taste of a good mango, the deliciousness of melting butter on toast, the cool smoothness of ice cream, the lilt of raga thodi sung by O S Arun or T V Sankaranarayanan, the swing of a sixer by an ace batsman, the heady rush of a roller coaster ride...
When I was growing up, my father was my champion. He was the one who worried about my getting home late, but when I did come home, it was my mother who scolded and fussed, while he simply smiled and said, "so you're home". When I spent the money my mother had given me for groceries on movie tickets, he was the one I told, and then he in turn convinced her to not ruin the pleasure of a movie with a lecture on responsibility. I learned that lesson because it was not delivered in a lecture. I learned because he, along with amma, never laid expectations on me. They just believed that I would grow up okay, and I guess, that is what happened. Not once while growing up did I ever come up against a wall of refusal. They allowed me to believe that I could do anything I set myself to do, and from that belief I drew a strength--but it took me a while to figure out where that strength came from.
The biggest lesson I learned from him (and I am certain there are many more I will continue to ferret out as I think about how he dealt with situations) is that it's okay to stick up for things you believe in, even if other people call you impractical and idealistic. It's that idealism that kept the smile on his face.
Right to the end.
It's been a bittersweet experience to read all the posts, over and over again, and to realise how much appa has meant to so many people. And how much his memory continues to mean. For me, his not being here in a physical sense has in a strange way meant that he is here all the time. When I drive to work and go past the pillar on the border of Parade Ground, I see him sitting there with Malli anna and his "Guruji", Lakshminarayan Mama, engaged in discussion about the meaning of life and living. As I cross the Paradise flyover and catch a glimpse of Secunderabad PG College I can see him as he was in the late sixties, a lecturer in the math department there. At Raniganj and James Street I see him as a young boy, in the 1940s, walking to school along the railway tracks with his friends, having missed the train to Secunderabad from Begumpet. And as my car groans its way over the traffic-jammed overpass at Begumpet Railway Station, I see him as he was the almost-last time I saw him--in the changing room at Country Club, smiling even as he told me, in a voice that refused to admit weakness, "I think it's a heart attack..."
Many of you have talked of his kindness, his selflessness, his constant smile. All that is true. But what I can talk about is what he taught me--not in the lecturing, admonishing sort of way most parents probably teach lessons, but in simply being what he believed in. As Controller of Examinations, as Vice Principal of Science College, as Principal of Nizam College, and just as a person, he refused to budge from belief. He held a few simple truths close to his heart, and he lived by them. To believe that you can make a difference by simply being honest, considerate to those less fortunate. To always understand that people cannot be all bad; that there must be an explanation for their "bad" behaviour--that everyone deserved the benefit of the doubt. To care deeply about the disadvantaged and the dispossessed. Yet, to enjoy the moment, to take extreme pleasure in the simple things of life--the taste of a good mango, the deliciousness of melting butter on toast, the cool smoothness of ice cream, the lilt of raga thodi sung by O S Arun or T V Sankaranarayanan, the swing of a sixer by an ace batsman, the heady rush of a roller coaster ride...
When I was growing up, my father was my champion. He was the one who worried about my getting home late, but when I did come home, it was my mother who scolded and fussed, while he simply smiled and said, "so you're home". When I spent the money my mother had given me for groceries on movie tickets, he was the one I told, and then he in turn convinced her to not ruin the pleasure of a movie with a lecture on responsibility. I learned that lesson because it was not delivered in a lecture. I learned because he, along with amma, never laid expectations on me. They just believed that I would grow up okay, and I guess, that is what happened. Not once while growing up did I ever come up against a wall of refusal. They allowed me to believe that I could do anything I set myself to do, and from that belief I drew a strength--but it took me a while to figure out where that strength came from.
The biggest lesson I learned from him (and I am certain there are many more I will continue to ferret out as I think about how he dealt with situations) is that it's okay to stick up for things you believe in, even if other people call you impractical and idealistic. It's that idealism that kept the smile on his face.
Right to the end.
Friday, May 16, 2008
MVP before Marriage - Home videos
Check out these home videos of appa taken mostly by Guruppa, this has some unbelievable footage of appa and many others of the Mangalam clan.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
Sunday, May 11, 2008
And more Memories
I never realized that peripa's initials were 'MVP' until I read some of the blogs. He has has a great influence in my life and has given appa, amma and me a lot of help ever since my childhood. Whenever I would have my summer holidays I would always look forward to come to hyderabad to meet peripa, perima and the others. I used to be very happy to see his face at Begampeth station when we would arrive. He would greet us with that familiar 'smile' of his.
I will never forget the time I spent with Him in London. He came there to visit for about 10 days and we would go round the city travelling. I would insist that we use the trains as they were faster and also because I knew the train routes really well. But he wanted to travel by bus. Until then I was not very fond of travelling by bus. But then peripa weaved his magic wand upon me and I actually enjoyed travelling by bus. He opened a new world for me. And I started to know my way round the city with the bus.
This friday I went to singing class. My teacher was teaching me a telugu song and the words were very funny. I felt like laughing out loud. And at that moment I remembered peripa. When he last came over to visit we were talking about a song. He was explaining it to me and told me that "you might feel like laughing at the words of some songs because you don't know their meaning. But once you understand the meaning you will surely appreciate the song."
He also helped me a lot with my Maths. Every now and then I would call him up and ask my doubts. Most of the times he would ask me to scan the problems and send it to him by mail as it was very difficult to translate mathematical symbols correctly over the phone. And the next day when I would check my mail I would get a mail from him with the solutions to my problems. I would then call him up and say 'Thanks.'
He has shown a lot of love and affection to every member of our family and has had a huge influence on our lives. Undoubtedly he is the 'MVP' of our family.
Ajay Kumar
Mumbai
--------------
I consider myself blessed to be married to his youngest brother (son-that is how both anna and manni look upon Krishna) thereby being associated with this very great person.We all know that he was always smiling. Not just smiling but a smile that was so true from his heart. We could feel the warmth and concern he had for all of us.
I would like to narrate an incident which may not appear very interesting but has a lot of value. It was in the year 1982 .We use to live in Tarnaka university quarters then. He use to have his meals and leave for college. On that day I had made the KOOTU and had forgotten to put salt in it. As usual I served him the chappatis and the Kootu. He ate it as if it was very tasty. Not only that ,he took his usual 3 servings and never said a word. After sometime Shekhar came from school and I served him food. The first thing he did was to remark " Hey Kasturi, there is no salt in the Kootu. I picked up an argument with him and said that it was impossible as appa had taken the Kootu 3 times. At this Shekhar told me to taste it and it was only then I realised that Shekhar was right. When anna returned I asked him why did he not tell me that there was no salt in the Kootu.To this anna gave me an explanation which has gone deep into my heart . He said that the lady of the house takes a lot of pain to do her work and so we should not say anything to her. it may hurt her feelings.Such was his concern for the ladies in the house.
Anna was very fond of Jilebis. He use to buy them once in a way and ofcourse we all enjoyed it. But what he enjoyed more was to sneak an extra jalebi or two when manni was not watching him . Not that manni would object , but she took a lot of care about his health as he was diabetic.To me he was not just my brother in law but it was always the joy of being associated with this great person. He is a person who I always admired and respected,he will always remain with us . Our scriptures say that it is only the body that vanishes , but the soul stays forever. So true is this in anna's case , as we all feel he is still with each one of us, ever smiling which I am sure you will all agree.
HE IS INDEED AN EPITOME OF SMILE.
KASTURI
Mumbai
--------
I will never forget the time I spent with Him in London. He came there to visit for about 10 days and we would go round the city travelling. I would insist that we use the trains as they were faster and also because I knew the train routes really well. But he wanted to travel by bus. Until then I was not very fond of travelling by bus. But then peripa weaved his magic wand upon me and I actually enjoyed travelling by bus. He opened a new world for me. And I started to know my way round the city with the bus.
This friday I went to singing class. My teacher was teaching me a telugu song and the words were very funny. I felt like laughing out loud. And at that moment I remembered peripa. When he last came over to visit we were talking about a song. He was explaining it to me and told me that "you might feel like laughing at the words of some songs because you don't know their meaning. But once you understand the meaning you will surely appreciate the song."
He also helped me a lot with my Maths. Every now and then I would call him up and ask my doubts. Most of the times he would ask me to scan the problems and send it to him by mail as it was very difficult to translate mathematical symbols correctly over the phone. And the next day when I would check my mail I would get a mail from him with the solutions to my problems. I would then call him up and say 'Thanks.'
He has shown a lot of love and affection to every member of our family and has had a huge influence on our lives. Undoubtedly he is the 'MVP' of our family.
Ajay Kumar
Mumbai
--------------
I consider myself blessed to be married to his youngest brother (son-that is how both anna and manni look upon Krishna) thereby being associated with this very great person.We all know that he was always smiling. Not just smiling but a smile that was so true from his heart. We could feel the warmth and concern he had for all of us.
I would like to narrate an incident which may not appear very interesting but has a lot of value. It was in the year 1982 .We use to live in Tarnaka university quarters then. He use to have his meals and leave for college. On that day I had made the KOOTU and had forgotten to put salt in it. As usual I served him the chappatis and the Kootu. He ate it as if it was very tasty. Not only that ,he took his usual 3 servings and never said a word. After sometime Shekhar came from school and I served him food. The first thing he did was to remark " Hey Kasturi, there is no salt in the Kootu. I picked up an argument with him and said that it was impossible as appa had taken the Kootu 3 times. At this Shekhar told me to taste it and it was only then I realised that Shekhar was right. When anna returned I asked him why did he not tell me that there was no salt in the Kootu.To this anna gave me an explanation which has gone deep into my heart . He said that the lady of the house takes a lot of pain to do her work and so we should not say anything to her. it may hurt her feelings.Such was his concern for the ladies in the house.
Anna was very fond of Jilebis. He use to buy them once in a way and ofcourse we all enjoyed it. But what he enjoyed more was to sneak an extra jalebi or two when manni was not watching him . Not that manni would object , but she took a lot of care about his health as he was diabetic.To me he was not just my brother in law but it was always the joy of being associated with this great person. He is a person who I always admired and respected,he will always remain with us . Our scriptures say that it is only the body that vanishes , but the soul stays forever. So true is this in anna's case , as we all feel he is still with each one of us, ever smiling which I am sure you will all agree.
HE IS INDEED AN EPITOME OF SMILE.
KASTURI
Mumbai
--------
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Memories from Roy Choudury
Appa had a way with people and he never allowed traditional relations or cultural differences be a barrier to developing great relationships, in fact he enjoyed being the contrarian in these respects. It was very evident in his relationship with his 'Bengali' sambandhi's. Here is what Ranjit Roy Choudhury has to say about MVP.
"Memories keep the one you loved close to you in spirit and thought and always in your heart. I am sure everyone who knew Dr. Raman including Monju and me will find comfort in remembering each moment spent in his company.
He was a man with vast knowledge and varied interests, yet his quest for knowledge never seemed to end. Even at his age, it was remarkable to see him making a serious effort to learn Bengali and succeeding to some extent. He asked me for a Bengali magazine and to my great surprise within a few days he read out a few lines to me from it. What a remarkable man!
We share our thoughts on various subjects, from cricket to carnatic and hindustani music, comparing the various ragas. He was like my elder brother whom I could ask for any kind of help or advise whenever I needed it most. As long as he was there, we felt so secure.
It is so hard to reconcile to the fact that we will no longer see his ever smiling face. We know that grief and tragedy are only for a time; but his goodness and unconditional love which he showered on us will forever remain in our hearts. We will always be thankful both to him and Lakshmi for making us feel so much a part of their family. "
Ranjit (Roy Choudhury)
"Memories keep the one you loved close to you in spirit and thought and always in your heart. I am sure everyone who knew Dr. Raman including Monju and me will find comfort in remembering each moment spent in his company.
He was a man with vast knowledge and varied interests, yet his quest for knowledge never seemed to end. Even at his age, it was remarkable to see him making a serious effort to learn Bengali and succeeding to some extent. He asked me for a Bengali magazine and to my great surprise within a few days he read out a few lines to me from it. What a remarkable man!
We share our thoughts on various subjects, from cricket to carnatic and hindustani music, comparing the various ragas. He was like my elder brother whom I could ask for any kind of help or advise whenever I needed it most. As long as he was there, we felt so secure.
It is so hard to reconcile to the fact that we will no longer see his ever smiling face. We know that grief and tragedy are only for a time; but his goodness and unconditional love which he showered on us will forever remain in our hearts. We will always be thankful both to him and Lakshmi for making us feel so much a part of their family. "
Ranjit (Roy Choudhury)
(sambandhi)
More Memories...
It's not often that inlaws have more than a "politely cordial" relationship. Subhashini Subrahmanian has this to say about her "sambandhi"--
I don't know how to write about him. There were so many good qualities about him to write. The name of the house, "Ayodhya" is perfect for the house. His name Raman also suits not only the person, but symbolises all the qualities which Lord Rama had, which he too had. Soft spoken, always smiling, ready to help anyone--known or unknown. On festival days or any special days the sweets and vada which we prepare in the house, he insisted, should be given first to the watchman and the servants, and unless this was given he would not eat.
He loved music, cricket and playing chess on the computer. I would go along with him and Lakshmi to all the music concerts. If we had any doubt about identifying the raga, he used to tell us immediately. He had a music diary in which he wrote down the name of the song and the ragam. Sometimes I used to feel tired to go to a concert and he used to say, "Come for as long as you can sit and listen to the music. When you are tired we can come back." After returning if I said "Thank you", he would say, with a big smile, "Thanks for the company!" He wanted others to enjoy everything he did.
Whenever he came upstairs (we live in one house, on two floors) to eat with us, after the meal he used to say "Thank you" which I refused to accept. Immediately he changed this to "No thank you", said with a smile.
When I travelled to Chennai by train, which was quite often, he wrote down the time table for me from Secunderabad to Chennai and the return journey, by both the Chennai Express and Charminar Express--I still keep that sheet of paper with me in my travel handbag, encased in clear plastic, to check the progress of the train and the stations on the way!
He used to ask the children--his granddaughters Achala and Ananya--to translate English words to Tamil and the other way round, and this was often quite comical (elimichcham pazham became rat remainder fruit!) and made them laugh.
I can go on writing--these are just a few of those memories. We will all miss him.
I don't know how to write about him. There were so many good qualities about him to write. The name of the house, "Ayodhya" is perfect for the house. His name Raman also suits not only the person, but symbolises all the qualities which Lord Rama had, which he too had. Soft spoken, always smiling, ready to help anyone--known or unknown. On festival days or any special days the sweets and vada which we prepare in the house, he insisted, should be given first to the watchman and the servants, and unless this was given he would not eat.
He loved music, cricket and playing chess on the computer. I would go along with him and Lakshmi to all the music concerts. If we had any doubt about identifying the raga, he used to tell us immediately. He had a music diary in which he wrote down the name of the song and the ragam. Sometimes I used to feel tired to go to a concert and he used to say, "Come for as long as you can sit and listen to the music. When you are tired we can come back." After returning if I said "Thank you", he would say, with a big smile, "Thanks for the company!" He wanted others to enjoy everything he did.
Whenever he came upstairs (we live in one house, on two floors) to eat with us, after the meal he used to say "Thank you" which I refused to accept. Immediately he changed this to "No thank you", said with a smile.
When I travelled to Chennai by train, which was quite often, he wrote down the time table for me from Secunderabad to Chennai and the return journey, by both the Chennai Express and Charminar Express--I still keep that sheet of paper with me in my travel handbag, encased in clear plastic, to check the progress of the train and the stations on the way!
He used to ask the children--his granddaughters Achala and Ananya--to translate English words to Tamil and the other way round, and this was often quite comical (elimichcham pazham became rat remainder fruit!) and made them laugh.
I can go on writing--these are just a few of those memories. We will all miss him.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Two weeks later
Two weeks have passed
and I wonder...
how long will it be before the rocking chair by the window is un-shadowed by the outline
of his white dhoti and kurta,
a newspaper in his hands, while other pages lie
scattered on the floor, within easy reach?
how long before the uneven flagstones in the portico
stop echoing the equally uneven step
of his refused-to-be-stopped arthritic feet
that accompanied the watering pipe
in the garden?
how long before the telephone and doorbell
stop being answered by the memory of a welcoming 'coming'
no matter who stands there?
Like Carroll's Cat
the smile hangs over the house
partnering the twinkle in the eye
on the slightly-tilted head
as if to say
I'm here, I'm here.
Feelings never go anywhere
Nor do memories.
As long as they live
so do people.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Recollections
Chittapa was a very special person for me and I owe so much to him for whatever I have achieved in life so far. How can I ever forget the help that he provided at crucial moments in my life especially in helping with my admissions into St. Patricks High School and Little Flower Junior College? His affection, enthusiasm and "young at heart' attitude was inspiring and motivating. I vividly remember the days when he used to join me in learning mridangam at RRL. It is difficult to imagine that I can never have a conversation with him any more but I will cherish the joyful moments that I could spend with him.
Srikanth
-------
(He) was such a pillar of support (along with Lakshmi athai) to all their siblings and neices and nephews, always being around to lend a helping hand at everyone's hour of need - be it to help with a wedding or provide comfort for someone with ill-health. I remember some very brief but intriguing conversations I have had with him on the rare occasions we met and he always seemed to have an interesting perspective on things. Of course with his academic disposition and being so well traveled he had a more analytical mind coupled with a wealth of knowledge and experience. Always wished I had more opportunities to meet and interact with him. He seemed to have this endless source of energy and enthusiasm for life, that anyone who met him would have felt he could go on and on...
I felt extremely blessed to have him and your mother make it for my wedding at Bangalore in August 2006, especially since it was shortly after Rukku athai's demise. Aruna and I last saw him very briefly at Vimala athai's place, NJ over the Memorial day weekend 2007 when he had come over there with Lakshmi athai and Sudha.
My memories of him are that of a simple man of tremendous intellectual capacity with the ability to view life in a lighter vein and always ready to help people...
Vikram
----------------
As I was growing up during the 40s and 50s, Pattabhi was one of my constant companions. Yes, he was technically my uncle, but neither of us let that stand in the way of our very close relationship. Some of my most fruitful hours were spent in his wonderful company. We had many things in common, love of walking, chess, apart from Mathematics, I have never met a more genial, pleasant, ever smiling person in my life. In fact, to a large extent he was a role model for me. I can't imagine visiting Hyderabad without meeting him.
Mani (Payyanna)
----------------
I still vividly remember what a great teacher he was; very fair and with a tremendous sense of humor that all the students both respected and loved him. I have not come across any other teacher who received such adoration and respect from all the students. Once, I was sitting in the last bench in his class and listening to cricket commentary with my friends. He came to us, took the transistor radio, gave the class some calculus problems to solve and he listened to the commentary and relayed the score when something happened! My college friends always affectionately enquire about him whenever we meet. He was unique. I also cherish the days I spent with him and Lakshminarayan mama - they used to meet once a week in the library of Mahbub College High school when I was a student. We used to go to Parade ground from there. For me, it was a fantastic exposure to great ideas and thought process. I am so fortunate and blessed to have had his affection and counsel at a young age. He was the role model for my generation.
Siva
----------------
I hold Pattabhi Chithappa as an ideal idol. He was a role model to me, especially in his genuine interest in building relationships.
Any mail from him was so very informative, refreshing and I took great pride in telling everyone that I got a mail from Chithappa.
His smile was infectious, and extremely comforting, so were his words. He reached out to people, and kept in touch with so many.
He always gave me an impression that he was extremely sincere and serious at the same time very jovial and lively.
Raja
Chennai
----------------
I consider fortunate to have come close to Chittappa during my Hyderabad days. Even after we moved to Madras we were in regular touch and it was such a joy reading his mail. I was just planning to write to him mentioning about our arrival here. I normally used to inform him soon after reaching here, only this time it was getting delayed as I fell ill (since recovered) soon after arriving. But never did I imagine that death would take away him away so soon. My mind is crowded with so many marvelous days spent with him that I find it hardly possible to write anything.
Malli
----------------
In the few times I met him, he always exuded a deep sense
of serenity.
Sharat & Ajita
Pattabhi Chittappa has been so close to all of us. Each one of us cherish so many good memories of the times we spent with him .God was too much in a hurry to take him away from us. For all of us he's more or less omnipotent and omnipresent. I feel so privilegd and touched that he could come for Dharini's wedding with Lakshmi Chitti.I cannot forget the lovely time we all had during the Mangalam meet..Lakshmi Chitti, I pray to god to give her all the strength to overcome this unbearable grief.(They would have celebrated their golden wedding anniversary next year!). I don't know how or what else to say for such a noble person as Pattabhi chittappa.
Latha.
----------------
He was an amazing person and together with Lakshmi chitti
formed our favourite couple. The only thing that flashes in my mind when I think of Lakshmi chitti is the million watt smile that was ever present in her face and it hurts me to even think how that face can stand this tragedy. We (specially me and Anu) have wonderful memories of days spent with you all (from Begumpet days through secunderabad and tarnaka) you were (and still are) our "closest" relatives and this is hugely due to the personalities of chittappa and chitti.
The loss is tremondous. It was so wonderful to have him here a couple of years back and I was really looking forward to more visits.
Vasanthi
----------------
It is difficult to believe that we will not be able to see Chithappa's smile and have a casual conversation with him ever. But all those years of wonderful memories will always be there with all of us. Such sadness is only eased thru passing of time and I hope that all of you will be strong.
A final thought. This fine poem should be a fitting memory from the loved ones to a person like Chithappa who never thought of or did burden anyone in his life.
*********************
Funeral Blues
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
W.H. Auden
*********************
Chander.
----------------
He always kept in touch and we'd talk regularly to me. We'd meet at kutcheris. He has been with me from childhood.... And I know chittappa has been a huge support for amma and also for our family. I was fortunate to interact with him - he was my college Principal and also my teacher. He was always smiling, such a gentle smile, and always had a kind word for me. He brought my 1st born home from hospital and I'll never forget the casual, yet deeply affectionate way he did it. Yes, at the core he was deeply affectionate to others and also had that rare ability to connect with others.
Sharadha
----------------
Uncle Pattabi was an exact replica of my noble father both of whom showed genuine love and affection for their relations whatever be the age or status . The Mangalam clan is now poorer without him.
Arni Mani .
----------------
Srikanth
-------
(He) was such a pillar of support (along with Lakshmi athai) to all their siblings and neices and nephews, always being around to lend a helping hand at everyone's hour of need - be it to help with a wedding or provide comfort for someone with ill-health. I remember some very brief but intriguing conversations I have had with him on the rare occasions we met and he always seemed to have an interesting perspective on things. Of course with his academic disposition and being so well traveled he had a more analytical mind coupled with a wealth of knowledge and experience. Always wished I had more opportunities to meet and interact with him. He seemed to have this endless source of energy and enthusiasm for life, that anyone who met him would have felt he could go on and on...
I felt extremely blessed to have him and your mother make it for my wedding at Bangalore in August 2006, especially since it was shortly after Rukku athai's demise. Aruna and I last saw him very briefly at Vimala athai's place, NJ over the Memorial day weekend 2007 when he had come over there with Lakshmi athai and Sudha.
My memories of him are that of a simple man of tremendous intellectual capacity with the ability to view life in a lighter vein and always ready to help people...
Vikram
----------------
As I was growing up during the 40s and 50s, Pattabhi was one of my constant companions. Yes, he was technically my uncle, but neither of us let that stand in the way of our very close relationship. Some of my most fruitful hours were spent in his wonderful company. We had many things in common, love of walking, chess, apart from Mathematics, I have never met a more genial, pleasant, ever smiling person in my life. In fact, to a large extent he was a role model for me. I can't imagine visiting Hyderabad without meeting him.
Mani (Payyanna)
----------------
I still vividly remember what a great teacher he was; very fair and with a tremendous sense of humor that all the students both respected and loved him. I have not come across any other teacher who received such adoration and respect from all the students. Once, I was sitting in the last bench in his class and listening to cricket commentary with my friends. He came to us, took the transistor radio, gave the class some calculus problems to solve and he listened to the commentary and relayed the score when something happened! My college friends always affectionately enquire about him whenever we meet. He was unique. I also cherish the days I spent with him and Lakshminarayan mama - they used to meet once a week in the library of Mahbub College High school when I was a student. We used to go to Parade ground from there. For me, it was a fantastic exposure to great ideas and thought process. I am so fortunate and blessed to have had his affection and counsel at a young age. He was the role model for my generation.
Siva
----------------
I hold Pattabhi Chithappa as an ideal idol. He was a role model to me, especially in his genuine interest in building relationships.
Any mail from him was so very informative, refreshing and I took great pride in telling everyone that I got a mail from Chithappa.
His smile was infectious, and extremely comforting, so were his words. He reached out to people, and kept in touch with so many.
He always gave me an impression that he was extremely sincere and serious at the same time very jovial and lively.
Raja
Chennai
----------------
I consider fortunate to have come close to Chittappa during my Hyderabad days. Even after we moved to Madras we were in regular touch and it was such a joy reading his mail. I was just planning to write to him mentioning about our arrival here. I normally used to inform him soon after reaching here, only this time it was getting delayed as I fell ill (since recovered) soon after arriving. But never did I imagine that death would take away him away so soon. My mind is crowded with so many marvelous days spent with him that I find it hardly possible to write anything.
Malli
----------------
In the few times I met him, he always exuded a deep sense
of serenity.
Sharat & Ajita
Pattabhi Chittappa has been so close to all of us. Each one of us cherish so many good memories of the times we spent with him .God was too much in a hurry to take him away from us. For all of us he's more or less omnipotent and omnipresent. I feel so privilegd and touched that he could come for Dharini's wedding with Lakshmi Chitti.I cannot forget the lovely time we all had during the Mangalam meet..Lakshmi Chitti, I pray to god to give her all the strength to overcome this unbearable grief.(They would have celebrated their golden wedding anniversary next year!). I don't know how or what else to say for such a noble person as Pattabhi chittappa.
Latha.
----------------
He was an amazing person and together with Lakshmi chitti
formed our favourite couple. The only thing that flashes in my mind when I think of Lakshmi chitti is the million watt smile that was ever present in her face and it hurts me to even think how that face can stand this tragedy. We (specially me and Anu) have wonderful memories of days spent with you all (from Begumpet days through secunderabad and tarnaka) you were (and still are) our "closest" relatives and this is hugely due to the personalities of chittappa and chitti.
The loss is tremondous. It was so wonderful to have him here a couple of years back and I was really looking forward to more visits.
Vasanthi
----------------
It is difficult to believe that we will not be able to see Chithappa's smile and have a casual conversation with him ever. But all those years of wonderful memories will always be there with all of us. Such sadness is only eased thru passing of time and I hope that all of you will be strong.
A final thought. This fine poem should be a fitting memory from the loved ones to a person like Chithappa who never thought of or did burden anyone in his life.
*********************
Funeral Blues
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
W.H. Auden
*********************
Chander.
----------------
He always kept in touch and we'd talk regularly to me. We'd meet at kutcheris. He has been with me from childhood.... And I know chittappa has been a huge support for amma and also for our family. I was fortunate to interact with him - he was my college Principal and also my teacher. He was always smiling, such a gentle smile, and always had a kind word for me. He brought my 1st born home from hospital and I'll never forget the casual, yet deeply affectionate way he did it. Yes, at the core he was deeply affectionate to others and also had that rare ability to connect with others.
Sharadha
----------------
Uncle Pattabi was an exact replica of my noble father both of whom showed genuine love and affection for their relations whatever be the age or status . The Mangalam clan is now poorer without him.
Arni Mani .
----------------
Sunday, April 27, 2008
The Life and Times of Dr. M.V.Pattabhiraman
Name: Mangalam Vaidyanatha Sastry Pattabhiraman
Place of Birth: Begumpet, Hyderabad
Date of Birth: January 1st, 1931
Died: April 21st, 2008
Father: Vaidynatha Sastry (Pattanna)
Mother: Kamakshi (chitti)
Education:
Mehboob College, Secunderabad
Nizam College, Hyderabad (B.A Mathematics)
Osmania University Arts College, Hyderabad (M.A Mathematics)
University of Calgary, Alberta, Canada (Ph.D Mathematics)
Married: June 10th, 1959
Wife: Lakshmi Raman (Ranganathan - maiden name)
Children:
Usha Raman (daughter born Sept. 1960)
Rajasekhar Raman (son born Nov. 1968)
There are of course many, many, many more significant events and people in the life of MVP Raman. The hope is that people who were part of his life will take the time to recount some of their memories and thoughts on this blog. We would like to have everyone contribute.
Please pass on this blog site to anyone you think would like to add their comments.
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