Re-visiting Hyderabad

21 June 2008

Two months have passed since chittappa left us.Time is flying so fast.Though I can not clearly remember my association with chittappa and chitti during my childhood days at Secundrabad, I remember bursting lot of crackers during the first Diwali after their marriage.True to his name chittappa was ever smiling and I have never seen him getting angry. Chittappa and chitti are my role model and a source of inspiration not only to me but every body who knew them.I can never forget the care I received from them when I had health problems way back in Delhi and US.They drove all the way from Edison to Jersy City and my stay with them made me recover in a couple of days.Such was their nature,ever ready to help the needy even without asking.It is very rare to find such people.I was very happy when my husband was transfered to Hyderabad as I knew that chittappa and chitti were always there to take care of him and enable me to be with my favourite chittappa and chitti often.During the last two years I made frequent trips to Hyderabad and spent lot of time with chitti and chittappa.My husband would drop me at Vikrampuri while going to office and pick me up while returning.We would be sitting and talking about every thing on the earth .Chittappa could relate to every body right from old people to small children.His knowledge was so wast that the person listening to him would never get bored.He never used to sleep in the afternoon,he used to play chess by himself on the computer. I will be going to Hyderabad next week to wind up and will miss his reply to the door bell"COMING". I consider myself very fortunate to have Lakshmi chitti and Pattabi chittappa as my aunt and uncle and am sure that they will continue to shower their love and affection and blessings as ever.

Latha Vasudevan.

And from a sister-in -law...

I fondly remember the days I spent with my sister and my brother in law. He was a wonderful person. I have never seen him shout at any one. He was always smiling and calm. He was there for our family whenever we needed his support.

When my son in law Vijay passed away on June 4th 2005, he came to Bombay to be with my daughter Raji and stood by her. He consoled her and asked her to be bold and express her views without any fears. He was a man of integrity and staunch principles in life, who was loved by all and respected. We remember him for all his goodness and advice.

Vasantha Natarajan

From Kasturi

It is raining very heavily and the atmosphere is quite gloomy. Although three months have passed it is very difficult to accept that Anna is not with us anymore. But here I am making great efforts to tell myself to come to terms with the reality . I can't imagine a Hyd without Anna, or why Hyd a world without Anna.

Let me not cheat myself. I have to accept the truth that Anna will not be there with us .

But memories of Anna will always remain fresh in all our minds at all times. Anna must have visited Mumbai several times. But each time he came he use to miss the way and
in the process discover new roads and gullys that we were not aware of. There was a period when his purse would always be pickpocketed when he came to Mumbai. But after all this he would never complain. He would smilingly say "maybe he needed it more than me".
The more we write about him the less it is.

Kasturi

thoughts on a muggy morning

How do we measure our lives? In a recent Hollywood film, 'The Bucket List', it was said that we can measure our leaves by those who measure their lives against ours...in a circular way, that's saying that we are measured by the standards we set in various facets of life. It's been two months since appa left us, and I at least am reminded all the time of the standards he set for himself, never, really for others. Those standards are hard to live up to, because they are not articulated in terms of any material achievement. They have to do with relating to people, to how we think of ourselves in isolation as well as in relation to others and in relation to what we do. And appa never held these standards up as something to remark on, but lived them with a naturalness and lightness easy to take for granted. Because of this, some things that seem to have become things to 'remark upon' have for us simply been normal everyday qualities. For instance...treating people with dignity and gentleness is simply the way to be, it is not separate from any general idea of goodness. Thought and action are inseparable; one cannot act apart from belief. Simple, but increasingly difficult ideas to live by, in a world where extreme relativism makes everything acceptable (with reference to an ever changing context).

But having grown up with someone who was able to live this way, and lived it so (as I said before) "lightly", I know that it's not impossible. Difficult, yes. The commitment is to the belief that ideas are absolute to oneself, but they are not to be applied in judgment of others. If you think that something is the right thing to do, go ahead and do it, as long as you cannnot see any harm in it to others. If something makes others happy, then if it doesn't interfere with your innate sense of right and wrong, then go ahead and do it.

These standards appear to make life simple for those who live by them, but they do complicate things for others, who perhaps live by different standards or none at all. Sometimes living with appa was not so easy. Because though he never ostensibly demanded anything of anyone else, he did force you (if you were the kind to introspect and worry about such things) to demand it of yourself.

And that's the hardest thing to do--to demand something of yourself, and then to deliver action that meets those demands. Until it becomes a habit. As it had become, for appa.

(Almost) 50 years ago...

It was on 9-06-59 we came to know Pattabi (I call him chittappa). It was the Janvasam day of Lakshmi chitti‘s wedding, which was the next day. On that day there was heavy rain. Fortunately preparation at Gaddi Adduppu was over by then and so the evening function went off well. We were all trying to clear the mess caused by the rain when a soft voice behind us said “can we also join you”? It was from the groom’s party of course. We set it right, despite the wet fire place and things were set right by 11pm with the help of my senior co brothers. Some of the invitees had to wade through knee deep water. But all the groom's party took it with smile though we were a bit nervous. That was my first experience & has been my continuing experience with chitappa

Myself & Nagaraja periappa (our senior brother in law) are very short tempered & whenever there is an argument there will be loss of temper on both sides. Natraja perippa & Pattabi chitappa were the peacemakers to reduce the heat. Natraj perippa laugh was loud & visible even from a distance (you see him shaking) whereas chitappa’s is docile yet piercing. We lost vakadai perippa in 1965 now the other peace maker is lost. I just leave it you to imagine my heart's condition.

While writing about chitappa I remember one story I use to tell my children. Gajendra, the elephant was caught by a crocodile and after a long struggle it called out to the lord. The lord just rushed to the spot without informing his consort, without his chakkara & without garuda. In case of any need in our family chitti & chitappa would both be by us even without our calling.

I do not want to get emotional . But let us try the way chitappa used to console ourself

Kannan (MVP's brother in law, Lakshmi's sister Sushila's husband)
Coimbatore 10-06-08

A Marriage made in heaven

It has been forty eight years since that hail storm on the 10th of June in Secunderabad when Pattabhiraman and Lakhsmi were joined together in marriage. I hear from people that witnessed that event that they had never seen rain like that. I take it the event was thoroughly blessed by the heavens.

Many if not most of the couples in the puranas continue their partnership thru many ages. Life is no barrier to their companionship, they are soul-mates; it is merely a transition point to the next role that they have to play. I cannot think of a couple closer to that idea than my own parents. Maybe the comparison seems too far fetched, but I suspect that most people really agree with me.

There are couples and then there are couples. Some take years to understand each other and reach a compromise and understanding, some never ever get there, and then there are some who are like two professional dancers. They anticipate the partners move and are not only in position, but thinking one step ahead. There is no give and take in this partnership, just give. Both only give; the taking is left to someone else for they know that a true partnership can only be born out of complete commitment and sacrifice for each others cause. The deep desire is to complete the other person and fulfill the partners’ needs, for that is what gives them the true satisfaction. Separate, yet together, almost to the point of being inseparable.

A man and a woman joined in holy matrimony, to have and to hold, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer; what God has joined together, let no man put asunder. And till eternity shall it last!!

Dearest Amma (and Appa), on this very special day, I salute and celebrate with great honor, the wonderful bond that you have created, for its ripples will be felt for ages!!

a professor remembers his graduate student, and a student remembers his professor

Prof Peter Lancaster of the University of Calgary was Appa's PhD advisor and Appa was his first graduate student. He shared this memory with us:

I remember Raman with great fondness--my very first PhD student! We were good friends and he maintained a happy disposition and high personal standards as long as I knew him. I remember in the 1960s when he was the only person who, in a Calgary winter, would cross the campus with no coat on!

The world is a better place for his part in it.

Appa obtained his doctorate in 1968 from the University of Calgary in an area of number theory called functional analysis.

Many of his students too have shared memories with us. Prof V Ganeshan, formerly with the CIEFL in Hyderabad, sent this message--

Deeply saddened to hear about the death of your father and my teacher, Prof. Pattabhiraman, I am writing these lines to extend my heartfelt condolences to you and your family.

I had the greatest respect for your father. As you know he was my friend and guide whenever I had to face challenges as an administrator of CIEFL.

He was, as a teacher and a human being, a great source of knowledge and strength to everyone around him and I used feel fortunate to interact with him as often as I could. He was very highly respected throughout the teaching community. His good works, timely advice and help changed the life of many.

He shares this poem with us, and with all those who have lost a loved one...

TO THOSE I LOVE AND THOSE WHO LOVE ME

When I am gone, release me, and let me go….
I have so many things to see and do.
You mustn’t tie yourself to me with tears;
Be happy that we had so many years.

I gave to you my love, you can only guess
how much you gave me in Happiness.
I thank you for the love you each have shown
but now it’s time I traveled on alone.

To grieve a while for me if grieve you must;
Then let your grief be comforted by trust.
It’s only for a while that we must part,
So bless the memories within your heart.

I won’t be far away, for life goes on;
So if you need me, call and I will come.
Though you can’t see me or touch me, I’ll be near
and if you listen with your heart, you’ll hear,
all of my love around you soft and clear.

And then, when you must come this way alone,
I’ll greet you with a smile and say,
“Welcome Home”

- Author Unknown