it's been a while since the last post, and i suppose we have all come to terms in a way with absence, living our lives the way they need to be led, pausing occasionally to allow space for that memory that nudges us and makes us feel regret, happiness, brings a smile or a tear.
ananya and i are sitting here on a lazy sunday morning watching the women's world cup, telecast from australia. if appa had been here she would have been downstairs watching it with him, perhaps, exchanging the odd comment.
if he had been here....
it's a thought difficult to avoid, but surprisingly, it leaves you only with a gentle sort of regret, and not a searing pain. maybe that's because he left as gently as he lived, with minimal pain to all of us who watched him leave. he created a system, a family, that goes on without him, its relationships intact, its network of feelings as strong as ever. all the athais and chittappas are just as strongly connected to us as they were when he was here, and in that sense, he has been a great manager!
now we're looking forward to a reunion of sorts, about a month from now, when we will remember appa and regroup around--not our grief, but our joys of having known and spent time with him.
