goodbye little blue car

a couple of days ago we sold appa's car, the maruti 800 (his second 800, the first one an even older model that had been handed down from paddu chitti to me to him). it was bought by achala and ananya's karate sensei, Sridhar, who has been a frequent visitor to the house and so has seen appa driving the car. he was happy to have it, and we were happy that someone we knew and trusted would drive it.

but when the moment of transfer arrived and sridhar came and picked up the car, i found myself all tied up in knots. it seemed like we were saying a final goodbye to something that was so closely connected to appa's memory. he had driven that car for nearly four years before he died, it had ferried a number of visitors to and from the station and airport with him at the wheel, it had been driven with my daughters to the bus stop and to school and cricket ground, it had seen several close shaves when he was angry and upset with mindless drivers, and it had taken him to the country club that last morning in april 2008. but of course most of the memories were good ones, and i sincerely hope sridhar and his family also have many good memories in that car.

appa had promised to teach the girls driving in that car, and i had hoped to not sell it until they had learned at its wheel. but a whole year went by and driving lessons didn't seem like they were going to happen, so it seemed the best thing to do.

appa had a great relationship with cars. he loved to drive, and i remember him bringing home vanaja iyengar's old standard or sankar anna's austin and giving us a weekend treat of a drive somewhere. when he got his own first car--a maruti van, circa 1988--it was a huge source of pleasure and pride. he used every excuse to take the car out, to the station to pick up people at 4 30 a.m., to pochampalli to buy sarees straight from the loom, to monda market to buy vegetables on the most crowded days possible... to be at the wheel of his own car was something that he never quite lost the joy of feeling.

but it was hard to say goodbye to it, even though i know the memories are in my head and not in the car, it just felt like a part of me was being driven away that night.